


Out of Character

by Cumberbatch Critter (ivelostmyspectacles)



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fear, Fluff, M/M, Panic, Prophetic Visions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-31
Updated: 2014-08-31
Packaged: 2018-02-15 14:51:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2233050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivelostmyspectacles/pseuds/Cumberbatch%20Critter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"... The city... was devastated and... there was a lake of blood... I saw you... reflected in it... and you were drowning..." He raised his head, looking blearily up towards Alec. "I think it's a trap... and I can't lose you... Alexander."</p><p>Magnus has a dream. One of <i>those </i>dreams. When he comes to, all he can focus on is getting to Alec.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Out of Character

He dreamt of death.

The reek of decay was thick in the air. It was choking him with every breath. The demon part of him, the part that bore the name _Lilith's Child_ laughed aloud at the smell, drank it in with heady breaths, but the part of him that was human, the part of him that was nearly Nephilim by association gasped for clear air.

The putrid smell of burnt flesh tore through his nostrils and down his throat, and he could taste ash and something rotten on the back of his tongue, as smoke climbed higher into the sky. He staggered and stumbled and put his hand out to catch himself. When he pulled his hand back, it came back bloody.

The city was bleeding, saturated with lifeblood so hot beneath the pads of his fingers that it resonated within his own body: _go! run! flee!_

When he looked into the lake of blood pooling on the cobblestone, he saw his own reflection. Pale, shaky, and one part gleeful, one part horrified. Deep within his reflection, something began to change. He stared at it greedily, drinking it in as he tried to decipher. His reflection in the pool of blood stared back at him mesmerizingly, but the something-changing twisted the image. Instead of gold-green slitted eyes staring back at him, bright blue human ones did.

And then it was like an out of body experience. He watched the reflection fall back, but his own body wasn't moving. He reached out, wanting to grasp, wanting to grab ahold, but there was nothing but air, and blood, and Alexander's eyes staring up at him from the pool of blood at his feet.

 

 

Magnus sat up with a strangled gasp, reaching for nothing, air whistling through a too tight throat as he struggled to come back to his senses.

He'd crawled into bed around three with the TV in his room on to back-to-back reruns of fashions programs and the latest release book in the series he coveted magically delivered from the nearby bookstore. He hadn't been particularly tired, as he so seldom ever was, but autumn was pushing its way through New York in preparation for what Magnus believed would be a very cold winter, so he had changed into his pajamas, grabbed some blankets and snacks, and went to bed.

Alec had spent the night at the Institute. They were due out on some big caper today, so Alec had said he was cutting time by just spending the night; Jace, Isabelle, and Clary had wanted downtime beforehand to discuss strategy (not that they ever seemed to have one of those besides _charge!_ ).

Now, he was drenched in a cold sweat, his pajamas clinging uncomfortably to his skin, while his book lay abandoned an arms length away, and Chairman Meow stared at him with a look of utmost disdain.

Alec.

Magnus sent the blankets flying with a determined kick. His book landed in a heap of bent pages with a _thud_ on the floor and the Chairman yowled and streaked off across the charcoal carpet, hackles raised.

Magnus ran.

Some inexplicable part of his soul was chanting Alexander's name over and over. It was more essential than breathing, more important than every breath Magnus took right now. He didn't dream. He hardly slept so he didn't dream. Visions felt more like a horrible alternate reality, wakeless dreams that were actually real but not at the same time, and sheer urgency sent Magnus hurtling out of his loft at six-thirty in the morning, late October, with nothing but pajamas and socks on.

He'd learned to listen to that inexplicable part of his soul, because when it chimed in, it meant that calamity was coming. And out of all the people that Magnus could have seen in the bleeding city and lake of blood, his mind had produced Alec.

Bile rose in the back of his throat, an after-effect of the prophecy still ringing in his mind. He swallowed impatiently and tried to push it all away, push back the vision, push back the thoughts, push back the terrible sickness latched onto his body and mind and soul, because none of that would help him now, wouldn't help him at all.

He just had to stop the prophecy. He could see the future for a reason. Yes, usually his prophecies didn't happen immediately after he dreamt them, sometimes he would dream the same thing for months and months, but adrenaline had shot him out of bed, urged on by irrational thought and preternatural whims, and that was something Magnus couldn't doubt now, either. His mind told him the future; his body told him to change it. If he didn't try, he was done for. If he didn't, others might be done for as well.

He didn't know what he thought he'd do when he got to the Institute. Charge the place, maybe. Do whatever didn't kill him and if that didn't work, do what _might_ kill him to save Alexander.

He reached the Institute just as the other four were leaving. Something in Magnus's veins sang _this is right, this is the prophecy, this is what I have to change_ , but his heart thudding heavily in his chest and in his throat and his lungs aching for air just increased all the harder when Alec turned around and caught his gaze.

"Magnus?"

Magnus flung his arms out and caught Alec around the shoulders. The momentum sent them both crashing to the sidewalk beneath them, amidst Alec's exclamation of surprise and Magnus's pulse pounding in his ears. He ended up half on Alec's lap, but one of his knees hit the ground and he felt the sudden shock of pain, felt sticky wetness as it started to bleed and-

_Blood blood blood lake of blood bleeding city crimson blood stained with blue for the life of a Shadowhunter lost flames stretching to the sky smoke coiling into the night blood coating pale hands grasping hunting looking_

"Magnus!"

Magnus nearly choked on his breath as he startled back to reality, blood beneath his knees and worried blue eyes staring down at him. He felt dizzy; the world was trembling all around him. He locked his arms tight around Alec's shoulders and held on, vice-like, as he pressed his head against Alec's chest and gasped out _"Don't go."_

Alec was talking, saying something, voice thick with worry and panic, but Magnus couldn't hear it over the pounding in his ears, the rushing of air through his nose and mouth. Alec's arms were tight around him and Magnus realized that the world wasn't shaking; _he himself_ was.

"... Magnus! Magnus, look at me!" Alec ordered, gripping his shoulders tightly.

Magnus buried his face more firmly against Alec's gear, all leather and black and smelling new and like sandalwood. He couldn't let him go, wouldn't let him go, not now. "Don't go, don't go out, if you leave, you won't come back." He realized that someone was talking, and then he realized that it was himself.

"Magnus!"

"What do we do?"

"Should I get someone to help him??"

"He's had a vision, hasn't he?"

"It has to be, he wouldn't be like this if it wasn't!"

And through all the clutter of voices around him, Alexander's drowned them out. "Magnus, calm down. Magnus. I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here. I'm okay. I'm not leaving. Breathe, Magnus. Come on, it's okay."

Magnus forced in a shallow breath, and then another, deeper one, his lungs expanding to full capacity before deflating. He did it again, and again, following Alec's orders and praises, because Alec was there. Alec was fine.

His throat burned. He was still going to be sick. His stomach was still writhing. He felt dizzy and breathless, soaked to the bone with nervous sweat and sweat from exertion from the run. He felt like he was fighting his way through a bad case of the flu, smack-dab in the middle of a sidewalk in New York with his boyfriend and his boyfriend's family standing watch.

"Hey, you okay?" Alec murmured, his head dropped down next to Magnus's, his breath warm and tickling against Magnus's ear. "Can you talk to me? What happened? Did you dream?" He rubbed circles onto Magnus's sweat-soaked back, seeming unpeturbed by it.

Magnus made himself assent with a nod. "... The city," he said, unsticking his tongue from the roof of his mouth. "... was devastated and... there was a lake of blood... I saw you... reflected in it... and you were drowning..." He raised his head, looking blearily up towards Alec. "You guys can't... go out there. I think it's a trap... and I can't lose you... Alexander."

Alec didn't smile. If anything, his worried look just intensified. "Izzy, give me that, yeah. Here, Mags, have a drink of this if you can." He carefully pressed a paper cup full of something into Magnus's shaking hand and Magnus desperately tried to hang onto it. "It's mocha, but..."

Magnus sucked in a deep breath and swallowed three mouthfuls of the latte, trying not to throw it back up immediately after. He always got caramel lattes, and his stomach was already a mess. But the caffeine would settle his nerves, as the adrenaline high came down, and it tasted good against his dry mouth that still tasted of blood and ash.

"Alright?"

Magnus nodded slightly. "Better," he rasped, curling into Alec's presence.

The crushing weight of his current predictament came crashing down on him hard; he was on Alec's lap, curled up against his chest, wearing his blue, teal, and pink plaid pajamas and fuzzy pawprint-patterned socks, in the middle of a New York sidewalk, at around seven in the morning. He was also pretty sure that he looked horrible, drenched in sweat and panic in his eyes, about to throw up at a moment's notice.

He sighed shakily and sat up slightly, trying to get himself on the pavement instead of Alec's lap, but Alec didn't let him move. Magnus closed his eyes and curled his fingers tightly around the paper cup of cheap coffee.

"So, I think it's decided that we're definitely _not_ going to go ahead with this hunt?" Jace asked suddenly.

"No," Clary said firmly. "Although, that's surprisingly sensible, coming from you."

"Hey, if the psychic warlock runs here, chanting on like a raving lunatic about it-"

"Jace!" Alec hissed.

"No offense," Jace added idly.

 _None taken_ , Magnus thought to add, but he just tightened his grip around the coffee. He was still shaking, although for an entirely different reason: exertion instead of panic. Clairvoyance took it out of him, anyway, let alone this kind of premonition.

"Do you wanna go back home?" Alec murmured, head ducked close to Magnus's again, like they were having their own conversation in their own private little world.

"... That sounds good," Magnus murmured. He sat up slightly, enough to take another drink of the coffee. He was coming back to himself in leaps and bounds, but exhaustion overtook it all. He felt tired, and vulnerable, and sort of like a kid who'd been scared of a storm and woke up his parents in the middle of the night.

"Do you two need any help?"

"I think we're good, Iz, thanks," Alec muttered, helping Magnus back to his feet. He staggered and stumbled and clung onto Alec tightly, who didn't let go. "Come on, we're getting a cab back," Alec said.

"I hope you feel better," Clary said, frowning.

Magnus shot her a weak smile. "Watch yourselves. I can't pull these... visions out everyday."

"Maybe we should talk to mom about it, get an added patrol or recon out there, at least?" Isabelle muttered, looking first at Alec and then Jace and Clary. "We can't let it go, but I don't think we should rush into it, either, given what Magnus saw..."

Magnus shivered. Alec pulled him closer and intertwined their fingers.

They were in a cab together less than three minutes later, Magnus pressed back into the back of his seat. He stared at the back of the front passenger seat, trying to forget what he saw because Alec was here, safe with him. Everything was alright. But he still couldn't stop shaking.

"Hey... I'm okay," Alec said quietly, reaching over to press his hands on either side of Magnus's face.

Magnus was somewhat surprised; Alec was cuddly, but only ever at home. He didn't really handle PDA well, even if they were in the back of a cab. He tried to smile. "I know."

"Everything's okay," Alec said.

Magnus nodded.

Alec watched him with infinite worry in his eyes for a moment longer before leaning over to kiss him.

Magnus's brain short-circuited. Alec certainly didn't do this, didn't kiss him in public, not like this. If they kissed in public, it was quick and to the point, not this... passionate kissing. And, if Magnus wasn't _so. damn. tired._ , he would have smiled, but even by the time that he geared up to kiss Alec back, Alec was pulling away.

"Mags..."

Magnus exhaled, a breath he wasn't aware that he'd been holding. He slumped sideways against Alec, closing his eyes against Alec's quiet inhale as the Shadowhunter reflexively wrapped his arms around him.

"Hey?"

"Just stay like this," Magnus mumbled. He could hear Alec's heartbeat, strong and steady, beneath his ear. "Just 'til we get home."

Alec was silent for a moment before his grip tightened. "Okay."

Magnus curled one of his hands with Alec's and the other into the leather of his gear, gripping at it tightly in plans to never let go.

* * *

 

"I'm worried about you."

Magnus stared blearily at Alec. He'd crashed against his chest in the cab, vaguely remembered being guided up the stairs to his loft, and falling into bed to pass out again. Now, he didn't know what time it was or how long he'd been asleep, but the lingering after-effects of a prophecy and the lethargy following sleep was still clouding his mind.

Some time, Alec had ended up in bed next to him, because he was there now, curled on his side, arm folded under his head, watching Magnus. He'd changed out of his gear, Magnus noted slowly; he was wearing a blue sweater and blue jeans.

"Don't be," Magnus mumbled. "I get like this when I have prophecies. Dog tired. I guess I make up for lost sleep." He was aiming for a joke, but Alec didn't smile.

"I've never seen you like that," Alec said shortly, fingers clenching and unclenching around the blanket.

"Yeah, well... be glad." Magnus slowly traced his fingers up Alec's spine. "It's not very attractive."

"You care," Alec replied. "I think that's attractive."

Magnus smiled sardonically. "Yeah... falling over myself into your arms and blubbering on about how you can't leave is really attractive. I'm sorry about that, by the way."

Alec's eyebrows furrowed. "Why are you apologizing?"

Magnus shrugged slightly. "Everyone panics if I panic. I don't panic." He paused. "But then... there's you, and I had that dream, and... I didn't think. I just had to get to you. I was scared of the outcome if I didn't," he admitted.

"But you did," Alec said quietly, "and I'm glad you did."

Magnus managed a genuine smile this time. "I'm glad I did, too." Finally having the right state of mind to be able to do so, he leaned over and kissed him.

Alec kissed him back, slowly but surely. Magnus pulled him close and Alec melded effortlessly into the space between their bodies. He reached for Alec's free hand, intwining their legs together, and pressed his forehead against Alec's.

"I love you," Magnus murmured. "So much sometimes I think it might kill me."

"Hopefully not," Alec said quietly, offering up a small smile. Magnus returned it, but Alec continued. "I need you here... you're... the best part of my life lately. I don't ever want to think about losing you again."

Magnus's smile grew and he pecked him on the lips again. "Nor do I you. So, let's try to both be careful. _Very_ careful."

"Agreed," Alec said quietly, and squeezed his fingers beneath the blankets.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I know these Magnus-dreams-of-Alec-dying fics are so overwritten, but I wanted to put my spin on it. I love Magnus being in a panic because he thinks Alec is in danger.
> 
> I do not own _The Mortal Instruments_ , because Cassandra Clare does.  
> Thanks for reading!


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